WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Randomize
