8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
and you fell through a lawn chair
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