just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Randomize
