It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
So much rum. So many feels.
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
Randomize
