Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
