The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
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