Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
And then my night got REAL pukey
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
