Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize