she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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