the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
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