***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
Everyone says I win the strip club
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Randomize
