I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
