what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize