Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Randomize
