Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize