hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Randomize
