Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize
