Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
Just took my morning after pill in the library
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
Randomize
