is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
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