This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
Randomize
