you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
I think i peed on brittanys purse
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
Randomize
