You don't have asthma, your pregnant
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
Randomize
