I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
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