Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
I got inside last night via doggy door
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
Randomize
