Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
Randomize
