i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
This gyro tastes like lonliness
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
