Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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