I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
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