i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
Randomize
