yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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