Christians are straight up FREAKS
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Randomize
