so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
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