i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
