I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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