He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
i drank out of a bidet.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
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