And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
Two words: blizzard sex
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
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