Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
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