Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
Randomize