I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
worst night to have a conscience
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
Randomize
