K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
I CAN MOONWALK!
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Randomize
