its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
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