That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
