dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
My penis needs a shock collar
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
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