Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
