11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
Randomize
