my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Randomize
