Rock
Scissors
Fuck
I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
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