That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
Randomize