my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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