My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
