He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
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