would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
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