ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
Randomize
