I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
Randomize
