you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
Randomize
