Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
