I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
