you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
So here I am, sexting at work.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Randomize
