I CAN MOONWALK!
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
Randomize
