yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Randomize
