she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
Randomize
